


Eskimo Kisses

by jessikajesse1



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bus driver petra, Creepy!Erwin, Cringy as shit, Cute!jean, Erwin needs to leave, Even tho it is, F/M, Fluff, Grisha's A+ Parenting, I will go down withthis ship, Jean u ned 2 stahp, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Oblivious!Eren, Pony!Jean, Shounen ai, TOO MUCH, Taller!Levi, Yaoi, Young!Eren, abusive!Grisha, age gap, ah well, but when eren turns 15 ofc because pedophilia is gross af, child!Eren, epic plot twists, ereri, for once, get down with the 'ship'ness lmaooooooo, my poor levi why do i do this, non consensual smooches by jean, older!levi, platonic cuddles, riren - Freeform, smooches, sneakysnoojess, the tags would go on forever if it were up to me, u smooth boi, uncle!levi, yes they will switch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-19 14:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7364899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessikajesse1/pseuds/jessikajesse1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Young 10 year old Eren meets his mother's brother. (His jerk uncle named Levi.) For the first time. Levi comes off as rude at first, but after only 15 minutes he warms up to his reserved uncle.<br/>Eren is 10 at first, while Levi is 19.<br/>I will wait until Eren is 15 and Levi is 24 until 'stuff' starts to happen.<br/>Erwin has some suspicious activity going on.<br/>Levi finds out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Uncle?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a modern AU  
> *sighs*  
> Excuse me for the huge age gap.  
> (Eren and Levi do not get together when the boy is 10 Jesus christ)
> 
> Lots of swearing, Levi is 19 whilst Eren is 10.  
> Yes, the age gap is 9 years, not nearly as much as the canon age gap but, still huge.  
> I know that them being related is a huge taboo, but at least they aren't siblings?

"Go on Eren!"  
My mother pushes me towards my supposed uncle.  
I look up at the tall man, he's like a tower he's so tall.  
He looks down at me, which I think is strange. Most tall people go down to their knees to have eye contact with me. But not him, he's different. 

"Say hello to your uncle, he's going to stay with us for a little while. He will stay in your room."

The man kept staring at me.  
He looks like he's younger than my mom, but he's older than Armin and Mikasa.  
So I pop him the first question that comes to mind. 

"How old are you? Because you look 32."

Mom seemed to become flustered at this for some reason.  
"Ah, I'm sorry Brother! He's only 10 so he doesn't know better!"

Mom's brother just nods his head. I notice that his hair's long, his raven black hair tied back in a small ponytail that hangs low on his neck. The underside is shaved off... That's a little bit weird. 

"Hello Eren. My nephew? Hmmph. He looks like a brat."

Hey!

"Levi! Why would you call my son a brat? He's such a sweetie, just you wait, you'll fall victim to those huge green eyes of his!"

Levi?  
That's his name?  
I expected some kind of cooler name, like Captain or something like that. He looks too important (one of Dad's big words) to have an ordinary name like 'Levi'. Not that I'm calling him cool or anything! 

"You see that look Carla? That's the face of a brat. Look at that glare."  
This man is mean, I don't know who he is to say that to me. 

"Carla! Is your younger brother here now?"

Dads home!  
I run as fast as I can to my dad, I see he's bent over taking his shoes off so I glomp him.  
I hear a weird sound come from his throat, it sounded like a cough or a gag.  
"Eren! You came out of nowhere! Where's Mikasa? Is she at those karate classes again?"

My little sister absolutely loves those classes, it's her favourite thing to do. She's younger than I am, she's 5. She's cute but strong. Is it bad I'm afraid of my younger sister?

"Yes Grisha dear, she'll be back in a little bit. I've got dinner going."

Dad enters the room where that meanie Levi is. The room gets immediately quieter.  
I could fart, and everyone would jump; its that quiet. 

"Levi."  
My dad says to that uncle of mine. 

"Grisha."  
He says back to my dad. 

Both of them frown at each other, like Jean and I do at school when we fight. I wonder if they have the same feelings of hate.

"Daddy, this is my 'uncle'. His name is Levi. He's a meanie."  
I don't like my uncle.  
He's way to mean to be here.

"Hmmph, I know who he is Eren. And Carla, why did you bring this murderer here?"

I flinched at his words. Murderer?  
I stuck close to my father, hiding behind his long legs.  
Suddenly my uncle seems very scary, his squinty eyes seeming to bore into mine.  
I stuck my tongue out at him, this trick seems to make teachers go away when I don't want to do anything. 

He stuck his tongue out back at me. I gasped, looking up at my father once he did that. 

"Stop making faces at my son Levi, you are not to go anywhere NEAR him. Neither are you to even look at Mikasa."

Mom looks really mad right now, I wouldn't yell around with her if I was my dad. 

"Excuse me Grisha? What the hell did you just say to my brother??!"

Uh oh, Dad's going to get it now.

"I know that you think he killed his girlfriend's baby, but that wasn't his choice! That girl made that decision all by her fucking self! He actually wanted that kid, and to take responsibility! That's more than what you did when Eren was born! You skipped out and left for years without telling anyone! Leaving your son to grow up half his life without a fucking father!"

I didn't realize that I was crying until Levi came over and brushed tears out of my eyes. His eyes looked kinder up close, not so squinty and mean. I stared at him, the screaming of my parents muffled. 

At that moment I felt myself being pulled back harshly. I yelped at the contact. 

It was my father who had peeled me away from my now-suddenly-nice uncle of mine. 

"I told you to stay away from him you-"

And then that's all he had said before mom drug him upstairs. Ouchies! She had him by his ear! Mom sometimes did that when I was being mean to her.

Uncle Levi looked at me strangely. It kind of looks like how a person would look at when they see a stray dog. Pitiful. 

"Stop looking at me like I'm a sad looking puppy, Uncle Levi!"

Even though I said that he didn't move. Except look at me like I was a kicked puppy.  
He walks towards me and pulls me in for a hug. I feel like crying; but I can't cry in front of this person. He's too cool to see my tears.  
So all I could do is hug back. 

"It's alright my little nephew, .they're just having a little fight. They'll get over it. You'll see."  
He whispers into my ears. I just nod at him. He's so nice.  
"I'm 19 by the way Eren. You were WAYYYY off."

I giggle, even though he sounds mad I can feel him smile on my shoulder. 

"Neh! Uncle Levi!"

"Yes?"

I pull away from him and point upstairs where my bedroom is. 

"Want to go see our room?"


	2. Awkward Dinners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for: Grisha abusing a 19 year old.

I dragged my uncle upstairs by the hand, his sputtering is not important. He just needs to see my room! It's so cool!

We pass my sister Mikasa's room, hers is right across from my parent's room. Even though she's younger than I am, I hate to admit it but, she's more manly than I am! She isn't girly like other girls with pink frills in their rooms, she's more into karate and stuff. Scarves are more for girls so I bought her one, not the glittery ones that most of the girls in my class wear, but a plain red colour. I knew it was perfect for her, she even goes all out on wearing it everyday now.

My sister and I have to protect my best friend Armin sometimes after school, he'll be cornered by bigger kids. Armin insists that only Mikasa scares away the bullies, but he's in shock. He doesn't know what he's talking about.

My uncle and I stood outside of my bedroom door. I froze. What am I supposed to say? Welcome to my room? No too geeky. I present to you! My room!! Nah, too weird. I racked my small mind with lots of possibilities, until I came to an end.  
"This is my room Uncle Levi, do you want to g-go in?" Aw snap! I stuttered, that is so uncool! I feel my face growing a bit hot, like a stove, but my uncle seemed to not mind. 

"Sure, but you have to open that door, we are not able to go through walls you know?" He said to me. Great, now I look like a dummy.

I grabbed the handle, and stopped. Again I freeze up. I hear my uncle sigh behind me, he grabs the handle (and my hand) and turns it for me. I look up at him quickly. He just touched my hand!  
"What?" He says. "You were taking your sweet ass time you shitty brat."

Eh? Shitty? What's that mean. I'll ask mom later. She knows everything, at least that's what she claims. 

"Ok, welcome to my room!"

I knew that I should have double checked. It's a complete mess. The cool stuff I wanted to show him are completely buried under dirty clothes and garbage. I avoided cleaning it for the past week, and now I wish I didn't do that.

"What is this. There's garbage everywhere, clothes are strewn all over the place, and for gods sake Eren, your tight-whities are placed on your sad-ass TV! Displayed for the world to laugh at them!"  
I watched as he starts walking around my room, picking up clothes; and kicking the garbage to a corner.  
I sit on my bed, swinging my legs back and forth, hearing his griping and grumbling. 

"Do you like cleaning uncle Levi?"  
I asked. Hey, I just need to know. He looks like he really enjoys it. 

I wait for him to answer, cocking my head. Why isn't he saying anything? He's just cleaning, and organizing. I feel ignored. I hate it. 

So I decide in my head that: I am going to help my poor very old uncle with cleaning!  
I start picking up socks and and stuff, tossing them towards my laundry basket. 

"Eren."

Hm? What does my uncle want now? I hummed in question, I have no time to talk! I need to clean. 

"Go and get me a garbage bag, wherever they are. We need to get all of this crap out of here."

Well that offensive, calling my stuff the C-word. What would he do if I called his outfit the C-word?

"Ok uncle Levi! I'll go get it now!"

I race down the stairs, ignoring the muffled shouts coming from my parents room, Levi says that it's going to get better. I'll take his word for it  
I opened the drawers and seen nothing, usually the bags are here! Where did they go?  
I continue my search by opening all of the drawers in the kitchen, only finding stupid stuff like forks and stuff for dinner. I start looking under the sink. Aw. Only soap stuff.  
Maybe they are on the high cabinets? Should I get the stool or climb it?  
Well the stool is too heavy to move, but I can climb it. I grab the counter and hoist myself up, my limbs aching at the effort. I wonder how it'll be if uncle helped me, it would be so much easier. I stand on the counter, clutching the walls. The fall looks so far! I'm scared, but I don't wanna call anyone. This is embarrassing for me. No way am I calling anyone, I can't turn back not now! I'm too far to quit.  
I swing open the cabinet door and search around in there. Ooh! Chips! I'll take those~ So I stuff the bag under my shirt so no one can see that I took it.  
But nothing.  
I search in the next one. Again nothing. Just medicine and stuff, they gross kinds. Yucky!  
The last cabinet and only one left.  
The one at the end. This cabinet has always been hard to reach, even if my mother grabbed me and pulled me up. I inch over cautiously to the evil cabinet.  
It could strike at any minute! Just you wait...  
I grab the handle carefully, don't want to disturb the thing. I swing it open and find...  
The garbage bags!  
Why would that mother of mine hide it at the end? Sometimes I wonder about her, and if she wants me to fall and die.  
"Oi brat! What are you doing over there?!"  
I turn harshly to see my uncle glaring at me. But I turn too fast I guess, because I lose my footing on the counter.  
I scream as I hit the ground.  
At least I think I hit the ground, there was no loud thud.  
I realize that I'm actually in my uncle's arms, I look up at him and he's scowling at me. Until this point I've only seen his face from a distance, but now that I'm looking at him it sure looks nice. His face is manly looking, it's rough, but soft and smooth at the same time. His lips are small and thin, sort of like my dad's. He has a bit of a stubble growing on his chin like he needs a shave, but if he left it like that then that's alright too, because he looks good unshaved. His arms are strong as he holds me, I hope I grow up to be as cool as my uncle...  
"You're far too young to be ogling at my face you brat."  
Oh! I've been staring! Mom says that's a bad thing, I hope he doesn't mind.  
"I'm sorry uncle, but I was just thinking that I'd like to be like you when I get older!"  
The chips crinkle under my shirt as I hug him around his neck, he grunts in surprise at my action. He slowly accepts my hug, wrapping his arms around me in a way that seems like he's scared.  
I smile at the attention and hug tighter. He cocks his head at my embrace, so he tightens his hold as well. I puff my cheeks out and hug even harder. He seems to have noticed my challenge and squeezes tightly, I flinch at his hold, I smile evilly at his ear. Oh so you want to play this game, huh? Oh uncle Levi, I have so much experience with this. I hug as tight as I can, I smile as I await him to choke. Which he doesn't! I blink. Usually this works on adults! Adults would groan and grunt at my death grip! Uncle is stronger than I thought! I felt warm breath on my ear as he turns his head slightly, my breath hitches and I shiver. His lips barely touch my ear.  "You sure you want to play this game?"  
If that's a threat, then he's going to have to try harder than that!  
"Here goes you brat, you better not cry."  
His hold slowly tightens, squeezing my chest and my ribs. I cry out, he looks at me thoughtfully but I frown at him. Don't stop uncle! I'm stronger than this, just you wait!  
"What the fuck is going on here Levi."  
An angry voice growls. Levi loosens his grip.  
"Why are you embracing my son like you have intent to..."  
I flip my head to the side and see my father, his face is really scary and purple. Did mom squeeze him too? He takes huge steps towards uncle Levi and I, I flinch and bury my face into my uncle. Am I in trouble?? What did I do?  
I am again ripped from Uncle's strong arms, I hear my father's ragged breathes. The chips fly out of my shirt, landing in a corner; I turn my head and see Father's mouth turned down into a scowl. He's so scary!  
"Do not worry Grisha. He was on the counter when-"  
My father practically throws me aside, it hurts when I land on the ground. I rub my bum to get rid of the pain.  
I hear a loud thud, Levi's on the ground? My dad is holding up a fist, what did he do? I crawl away from my father, he's not the same!  
"Grisha!"  
Mom shrieks, she runs to my uncle and takes him into her arms. He has an ugly bruise on his cheek, it's purple and blackish. Did my dad... Do that?  
Did he just hit my uncle?  
I get up and jump on my uncle, he flinches slightly, I start crying on his shoulder, snuggling my face into his neck. "Did my dad h-hurt you? I'm sorry, he's just really crazy at the moment! Don't blame him, blame the bad things that are making him do it!" My dad certainly didn't mean it! He just has some mean guys controlling his body! That's all!  
"Eren, get away from him or so help me, I WILL GROUND YOU FOR A MONTH." He warns bitterly.  
I look in Levi's eyes to see if he agrees, my Uncle nods and I step away. I hear my mom sigh and she turns to me. 

"Stop bickering. Dinner is ready."

 

-X-

 

"Fucking stop it!"

Levi was just chewing on his salad when my dad yelled. What's he raising his voice for? 

I look beside the seat where my uncle was sitting. I glance at him curiously. 

"Grisha? Honey? What's the matter? Why are you yelling at my brother like that?"

Mom's words are calm, even though she looks like she wants to give my dad a huge squeeze.

"I saw him look at you Carla! You too Eren! I know it. He just wants to kill the both of you!"

K-k-k-kill us??

I stare at my mom. Is this true?

She shakes her head, that means 'no'. Whew. What was I thinking? Uncle wouldn't do that!

"Grisha, stop overreacting. Just because he glances at us doesn't mean he wants to kill us."

I watch my mother and father argue for a bit. Besides my mom and father, the food is delicious! Mom always makes the best food! Except for one... I scan my plate, frowning at the small balls of green. 

"Jesus brat, what did those peas ever do to you?"

I snap my head to my left, my mouth puffed up like a balloon. 

"Uncle...  The peas are yucky. Can you have them?"

My uncle just gave me a look, his lips curled up into a smirk. Don't give me that look uncle, you'll scare me into actually eating my peas.

"If you don't eat them, the pea troll will get you."

Pea troll!!?

"He comes and punishes the bad kids who don't eat their veggies. Oh, better not look now Brat. The Pea troll is behind you."

Even though Uncle sounds like a robot I believe him! I can even feel the warm breath of something behind me!

"Good job Eren."  
My uncle says with a nice smile once he sees me shovelling the peas in my mouth. 

I've never eaten so many peas in my whole life.

"Where's Mikasa? I thought she was supposed to be home by now."  
Father is right, where is Mika?

Mom sighs, I wonder if aging makes you more sad. Mom seems more sad than yesterday. 

"She's at a friend's house. Annie, I think her name was."

Father just grunted, sort of like a piggy, is Dad part pig??

"I'm finished!"  
I said, all of the peas gone. The pea troll isn't going to get me today!

"Ok Eren, it's time for bed." I moaned, flailing my arms around to show mom I didn't like that idea. "Now, now Eren. I will tuck you in. Say goodnight to your father." Mom paused. "And your Uncle Levi."  
Dad made a pig noise again.  
I got off of my chair and walked over to Levi. He looked down at me, as if I was some stinky bug.  
I climbed on him and hugged his neck. I was on his lap! I felt his hard arms on my back, he's actually hugging me! I let out a breathy sigh, feeling my uncle stiffen under me. Is he not used to hugs?  
"Eren! Come give me a hug!"  
My dad roared. I jumped off of Uncle's lap lickitysplit, running as fast as Sonic to my dad.  
He gives me a one armed hug, I know these hugs as 'bro' hugs.  
Mom grabbed my arm gently and we walked upstairs.  
I wonder if my Uncle even has anyone to love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was actually pretty big. LIKE ERWINS DI- *coughs*


	3. First Night With My Uncle!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi being the adult he needs to be, and Eren just being Eren.

Mom tucked me into bed, she gave me one of those puppy looks then kissed my head.  
I've always liked her kisses, they made me feel safe.  
"Goodnight my baby..."  
I heard her say quietly.  
Why is she so quiet?  
Then the door closed.  
No! My old enemy is back! The darkness!  
I shut my eyes as hard as I could, I felt my hands shaking.  
I forgot to turn on my night light!  
Black shapes start flying around my head, like those scary birds in the deserts!  
"M-mom..."  
I tried to yell, but my words were just quiet.  
The doorknob right in front of me started to rattle.  
I heard the creepy creak of the door and I hid under my blankets, I can hear myself crying. Whenever mom and dad fight, dad always tells me to 'shut up' when I start to cry. It makes me feel unsafe, so I always cry as quiet as I could.  
"Brat, are you blubbering under there?"  
Uncle!  
I tossed the blankets, it was getting hot under there, over my head and sat up to see my cool uncle.  
"Uncle Levi!"  
I hiccuped, trying to find him in the dumb darkness.  
My uncle must see in the dark because I felt his hand on my cheek, wiping my tears away.  
"Are you scared of the dark, shitty brat?"  
Again with shitty. I forgot to ask my mom about that. I shook my head.  
"We both know that is a load of crap."  
I wonder if my uncle can also read minds.  
I felt my small bed dip as my uncle laid beside me, pulling me into his strong arms.  
He was shirtless, something hard on his stomach, like sticks of butter, was pressing against my palms. His arms felt like iron, maybe he is actually the real life iron man?  
"It's ok Eren... I'll protect you."  
I heard him say to me, his mouth close to my ear. Protect me?  
I didn't say anything, my ears burning and I felt tears slide down my cheek.  
I smiled real big for my Uncle, trying to show him that I wanted him to protect me, from my mom, my dad, and probably even Mikasa too.  
"Thanks Uncle..."  
"No problem kid."  
I hope Mikasa isn't mean to Uncle, he's actually a nice guy.  
I snuggled into my Uncle, he sort of smells like soap, and a nice sweet smell. Not like flowers, but like guys who have lots of money...  
"Nigh-night Uncle..."  
He made a sighing noise, that's the last thing I heard before dreaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes this is a very short chapter. BUT NOT AS SHORT AS LEVI'S DI-  
> *coughs again*  
> Anyways... Yes I'm an inappropriate  motherfucker, but bear with me.


	4. Mr. Smith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren goes to school. That's about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for: Grisha becoming more and more abusive.  
> (And other things)

"I'm off to school! Bye Uncle!"  
This morning Mom found Levi and I cuddling, she just smiled and left the room. Dad on the other hand, he grabbed my arm to tightly I felt like it was going to come off! I cried quietly again, because I don't want dad to get more angry.  
Levi got another punch to the cheek, I cried for him too. He went in front of me as if I was going to get hit, Dad punched him once he did that. Dad was aiming for me but I don't think Dad would ever hit me. The bad things in him need to go away!  
I ran into the bus, smiling at Ms. Ral. She's the nicest bus driver! Everybody listens to her.  
I looked around at the bus, looking for Mikasa, or even Armin. Nothing. Mikasa must have missed the bus. Armin too.  
The bus was full! Almost like if one more person went in the bus, it would explode!  
I went and sat at the only seat available. I made a mean face at the one person I have always hated. The most evil and slimy thing to have lived, he's even more gross than girls.  
Jean. Kirschtein.  
"What do you want."  
The way he said it don't sound like he was asking. So I didn't answer.  
"Give me the window seat Fluttershy."  
I growled at him, feeling angry. Even if I look at his horsey face I feel like a volcano.  
"You watch My Little Pony? Girls only watch that!"  
Meh, the window seat isn't even worth it.  
"How did you know who I was talking about then?!"  
I said, pointing my finger at him. If only I had laser fingers, Jean wouldn't even argue anymore.  
"Eren! Jean! You better be quiet right now or else I shall come back there and make you!"  
Both of us shut up. Never mess with Ms. Ral.  
I look out the window barely seeing the school, because of Jean's big fat head. Our school is big! Like in the movies!  
I'm in grade 5 now, I can finally push around the babies.  
Except Mikasa and Annie are the babies. Never mind.  
The bus stops and we all climb out.  
As I was jumping to go to the last step I felt a hand to my back.  
"Get away you brat!"  
There was a push and my face hurt suddenly. It was Reiner, he pushed me to the ground. It hurts so much! But I can't cry... Uncle would not be happy... Don't cry, don't cry, don't c-  
"Are you ok?"  
A deep voice asked me. It sounds like Uncle Levi's, except different.  
I looked up at Deep Voice and my mouth hit the floor.  
He's a giant!  
He's even more bigger than my Uncle! He's like the tall trees out in the back! Is he wearing a wig? His eyebrows are so huge!  
"Oh excuse me, I am Mr. Smith. I just moved here to be a teacher."  
He held out a huge hand for me, I grabbed his finger and got up. I stared up at him, he has blue eyes. They remind me of ice.  
"What is your name?"  
He sounded creepy, I don't know why. Maybe I should go. His eyes were flashing from my toes back to my head. Yeah, I'm going to go. I pulled away from him, and he just held me harder. What does he want?  
"Hey! Come on Buttface! Class is starting, and Mr. Bozado said we were going to get cookies at the end of the day!"  
Jean neighed. This is the only time I'm glad he existed! Almost instantly Mr. Smith let go of my hand.  
"Bye."  
I said, running to race who got to class first. 

-X-

"Well you brats, you all get a cookie because of how well you all acted!"  
Now that I met Uncle Levi my teacher, Mr. Bozado, is sounding more and more like him. Why? My teacher probably doesn't even have the sticks of butter on his tummy.  
"I want it!"  
"Give it here!"  
My friends turned into monkeys, tossing stuff and pulling hair. I just walked through them and grabbed half a cookie.  
"Hey! Hey! Settle down!"  
I can't even hear my teacher because of all the kids wrestling. Potato girl was ahead with four cookies. Lucky.  
"So you actually got one? I got a crumb."  
I snickered, the loser -Jean- only got a crumb? I knew it. I chewed on my half a cookie slowly, almost spitting it out on him when he got mad.  
"Ah! Auruo! I've been looking for this class actually."  
That deep voice again.  
I dropped the cookie into Jean's hand and crawled under the table, hoping he won't look at me in that creepy way again.  
"OI! Buttface! Get out from under the table!"  
Shh, horse face!! Shut up!  
"Can I borrow one of your students actually? I want one of them to do something for me."  
No Mr. Bozado! Please no!  
"Sure, Eren is not doing anything productive."  
You betrayed me! You bring shame to your family!  
"I'll do it Mr. Bozado! Eren needs to catch up on his homework anyways!"  
Thank you Jean! If they ever made auditions for My Little Pony, you'll make the main character!  
"Yes Jean. You can go with Mr. Smith."  
Jean galloped away.  
I hope Mr. Smith doesn't look at Jean like a creepy guy. Even Horseface doesn't deserve that. Maybe.  
The floor is so dirty! Jean should sweep!

-X-

Finally we stopped at my house, the bus dropped me off.  
On the bus I thought I might die when Jean blew in my face! His mouth smells like something died in there.  
I fling open the door like I was the king.  
Uncle is sitting on the couch watching the TV. Hey! Is that Finding Nemo?  
"I'm home!"  
Uncle looked at me and smiled. I like his smile. I don't see it that much, but that makes it better. For some reason.  
"Welcome home Eren. Your parents are still at work, I'm cooking dinner today."  
I bounced when I jumped over the couch to sit by him. I jumped really high!  
"Are you watching Finding Nemo?"  
Uncle just nodded, ruffling my hair. Maybe Uncle likes Disney movies? I like them too.  
We watched the movie, I moved closer and closer to him until I was on his lap. He didn't mind, he just petted me. I'm not a dog Uncle.  
"So what did you do at School today?"  
I thought about that creepy teacher 'Mr. Smith'.  
"There was some creepy guy."  
My Uncle stiffened like he did last night, his hand stopped petting me.  
I felt his hand clench slightly on my hair, it was almost hurting but not really.  
"Hmm? Creepy guy? Who was it Eren?"  
He asked smoothly, as if he wasn't gripping my hair.  
"His name was Mr. Smith, I ran away from him. I don't know why but I feel scared of him."  
Uncle Levi's face frowned. His eyes were a gray stormy colour, lightning bolts should come out of his eyes!  
"Erwin? Smith?"  
His teeth were clenched when he asked me that. He let go of my hair, instead holding his fists to his side.  
"I don't know... He had these blue eyes, his hair was a yellow wig, he also had these eyebrows-"  
His fist slammed the coffee table as if the table did something to him.  
"Shitty Eyebrows..."  
The way he said it didn't sound like when he called me "Shitty brat", this sounded like he wanted to punch Mr. Smith.  
"He was like that with me too. Maybe he's using you to get to me? Or is he genuinely interested in you?"  
"Interested? I'm just a kid Uncle! What's so interesting about me?"  
My Uncle looked at me, his eyes darkened.  
"It's little kids he's interested in. When I was 12 and he was 33 he came after me. He's fucking 40 now Eren."  
40? He looks 24.  
"You look older than him Uncle."  
He grabbed the remote and shut the TV off, aw and it was at the part when they meet the turtles.  
"That's not the point Eren! What was he doing there?"  
He said he was a teacher, I wonder if he teaches Mikasa's class?  
"He's a teacher, he maybe teaches Mika-"  
"Eren!"  
Speak of the demon. I looked straight in Uncle's lightning eyes, he better have a good excuse. Mikasa is too protective of me, it's annoying because I'm way older than her.  
"Eren! Why are you on that guy's lap!!"  
Like a bull she ran over to me, she jumped over the couch like it was nothing, grabbed me off of Uncle's lap and started punching Uncle. What a jerk!  
"Don't you touch Eren!"  
Uncle just grabbed her hands, he held them in his own. Mika stopped punching and looked up at Uncle. He just smiled at her. Huh? If Jean randomly punched me I would have punched him back! But if Uncle punched Mikasa I would have hated him.  
"Mikasa right? I've heard a lot of good things about you."  
Good things? I've only told him about how protective she was.  
"You're in Martial Arts, correct? I used to do that also. I'm your Uncle. My name is Levi."  
Levi was just mad at Mr. Smith a minute ago...  
"O-oh... Hi Uncle."  
Mikasa never acts shy! She only acts like that whenever we have to kiss each other goodnight.  
"May I ask a question Mikasa?"  
Uncle is so formal!  
"Y-yeah"  
Mikasa folded her hands together like we have to in school, her tiny feet rocking back and forth.  
"Is your teacher, by any chance, Mr. Smith?"  
Mikasa nodded, she grabbed my hand and squeezed. Weirdo.  
"Well fuck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ERWIN IS A PERVERTED MOTHERFUCKER IN THIS. RUN LEVI! RUN EREN! RUN MIKASA! HE BE CRAWLING THROUGH THE WINDOWS!  
> But for real, Erwin i'm sorry for making you the antagonist... *ugly sobbing*


	5. An Innocent(?) Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for: Eren not understanding what a French Kiss is. (and getting in trouble for it.) Levi being mortified, because he has standards, and Mikasa being a cutie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao be ready for a half-assed non-beta'd chapter. (Like I even HAVE a beta anyways pfft) This chapter doesn't make any sense to me. If anyone has any suggestions for improvement, please tell me! Thaaanks~ *cringes*
> 
> (Btw I update the tags everytime I upload just to let you know ;p)

After that talk with Uncle he made us spaghetti! All those yummy squirmy stuff is so tasty!  
Mika grabbed her scarf and put it on her lap.  
"Thanks Uncle..."  
Mikasa is getting better at talking with Uncle, she still is shy when she wants to say stuff. Mika is only five, a baby still.  
"When I grow up, I want to be Eren's bride.."  
Eh? My bride? But she's my sister!  
"Impossible."  
My Uncle said with a smirk.  
"He's a boy. Too young. Besides you're his sister."  
Mika flailed her arms, babbling about being my bride. I don't want her as my bride! Girls are stinky. Maybe I'll get a husband, at least he would play trucks with me.  
"I would rather marry you, Uncle!"  
Uncle just laughed at me. Mika joining him.  
"You can't marry me Eren! You're basically a baby, besides, we are also related!"  
A baby? I'll show him who's a baby!  
I jumped on the table and I grabbed him by his shirt, his eyes widening, and pushed my lips to his. He stiffened up like when I sat on his lap. His lips were rough and chapped, sort of felt like when I kissed Jean. The fat sausage. My heart was beating like a drum, and a weird tingly feeling was in my tummy. I wonder how a tongue feels? Does it feel any different when I stick mine in Levi?  
I almost touched Uncle's teeth with my tongue until his strong arms pushed me away, I stumbled back into the chair, wondering why he pushed me.  
"Eren!"  
Mika and Levi both said, Levi was scrubbing his lips like he kissed garbage or something. I'm not trash Uncle.  
"You can't go and french kiss me, Eren! That's inappropriate and uncalled for!"  
His face was really red, I guess his dad was a tomato or something, maybe he's mad. But why? Mom says that that's how adults show love. I just shown my Uncle love, is that bad?  
"You're only supposed to kiss me Eren!"  
Mika yelled while making a mean face at Uncle. I don't want to kiss Mika like that, it's too gross. She's a girl. And girls have gross cooties.  
"How is that bad Uncle? That's what I do to Mom and Dad. They don't yell at me and wipe their lips like I have rabies."  
His hand slapped the table like he was mad at it, Mika jumping.  
"That is not the point Eren! They are your parents! You are allowed to do that with your parents because they are your family! And if you had just pecked me on the cheek, like you probably do with your parents, I would not have minded! But you decided to try to stick your tongue in my mouth and French Kiss me! That's disgusting! You're 10 years old Shitty Brat! I am 19!"  
Everything he said didn't matter. All I heard was that he doesn't want me as his family. My face started to hurt, my nose burning, my eyes too. I tried my hardest to try to not cry, showing Uncle my meanest look instead. I thought he loved me.  
"Fine! I didn't even want you as my f-family anyways!!"  
I turned away and Mika and Levi started calling for me. Their yells meant nothing once I raced out of there, I climbed up the stairs at light speed and bolted into my awesome room; the room Uncle and I cleaned yesterday, the room he told me he would protect me, the room he was nice for once. The room was dark, darkness is now my ally! It might help make me invisible!  
Now all he is a huge butthead! I don't think he even cares if I get taken away by creepy old Mr. Smith! I thought he was nice, but I was wrong!!  
My pillow turned wet from my tears, and I fisted the sheets.  
Between crying my eyes out and shrieking, I heard the door open. The light footsteps told me that it was Mikasa.  
"Go away Mika!"  
I yelled loudly. Can't a boy cry in peace?!  
"It's just me brat."  
How dare he come in here! My eyes flew open and my feet hit the floor as I grabbed a pillow, I looked at my Uncle and aimed my weapon at his face. Have a taste of my tear stained pillow you outsider!  
My Uncle just grabbed it like my strong hit was nothing, he really does have strong arms, and he just looked at me.  
I let the pillow go and it fell to the ground. My eyes burned and I thought back to when he said we weren't family. Rubbing my fist in my eyes made the burn a little better, it also had the plus of covering my puffy eyes from him.  
I felt his arms envelope me, pulling me close. Feeling something snap inside me, I pushed him away, baring my teeth to let Uncle Levi know that I was dangerous.  
"Get away from me! You're not my Uncle! You're just somebody that just threw me away! Why Uncle?! I was just showing you I loved you, and you scrubbed your lips like you kissed a pile of poo!"  
I walked away from him and onto my bed, pulling the covers over me.  
"Now leave me alone! You said you'd protect me, but I bet that was a lie!"  
I screamed slashed-cried my hardest again, letting him know I meant business and to go away.  
"Eren..."  
I felt him lean on the bed, climbing in with me.  
In the darkness I could barely see him frowning. Is he angry at me? Well I'm mad at him.  
He reached over to me and pressed his thumb lightly on my cheek, wiping away the salty tears. Why is Uncle so nice? I hate it.  
"Leave me alone..."  
I faced the other way, ignoring him like he was just some pesky fly. I stared out into the darkness. It was scary so I grabbed Uncle's shirt. Wait...  
I let go of his shirt, tightening my own hand. That's right... He's not my family... Uncle huffed a breath and softly held me cheek kissed my forehead, leaning back again.  
Wait.  
He, kissed me?  
My mind became blank, the world stopping once he did that, and all I could hear was my heartbeat feeling like it was going to go boom. I could hear my breaths and his, his more in rhythm than mine. Uncle... Just told me he loved me...  
"Now Eren. Do you understand why I scrubbed my lips?"  
Shaking my head I touched the spot his lips pressed on.  
"The reason why is because a French Kiss is for lovers only. I am not your lover. I am your uncle. A French Kiss includes tongues intermingling."  
Intermingling?That's a big word.  
Hm?  
"Lovers?"  
I cocked my head to the side, sometimes I see a cat doing this, and frowned.  
I saw Uncle smiling again, this time looking behind me.  
"Yes. Lovers. Sort of like a Boyfriend and Girlfriend sort of word. Though I usually prefer the word 'Lovers'. It sounds most endearing."  
Those are a lot of big words Uncle.  
"Levi, do you have a Lover?"  
I waited, watching his face go from happy to sad. He let out a slow breath, closing his eyes. Does he see the things in my closet too?  
"Used to. She was my world... Her eyes sparkled whenever she spoke about her passions,"  
His hands moved as he talked, a small smile on his face.  
"-her hair was a strawberry blonde, and she had the most funniest humour. She could make me smile even when I was at my lowest. But sadly another person came betw-"  
Uncle stopped, his teeth bared like he was about to growl at me. I could barely see him, but I can see his white teeth showing.   
But why did he stop?  
"Never mind. You'll get one soon enough. You have to be older though, because you shouldn't get one in grade school. You'll regret it."  
He lifted his strong arms off of the bed, crossing the room to flick my light on.  
Ah! The light is so bright! I scrubbed my eyes, maybe if I scrub hard enough they won't hurt!  
"Stop that Brat. You'll hurt yourself."  
He said that with a smile, so I guess I'm not in trouble?  
The door slammed downstairs, really hard too; I'm surprised it didn't break, and Mom and Dad yelled out to us.  
"Eren! Mikasa! We're home—!"  
Mom's home!  
I shoved past Uncle, whizzed through the kitchen and barrelled into my mom. She's home!  
"Woah, settle down there Eren! I was only gone for the day!"  
A really long day.  
"We ate spagetti."  
I heard Mika say, hugging me from behind. She's so small.  
"The brats were well behaved, Mikasa was an angel."  
Uncle said, ruffling my hair. Mika buried her face in my back. She must be blushing. She's not used to people saying good things about her. I'm not used to it either, so Mika and I are in the same train. Or is it boat?  
"Don't call my children brats, and don't call them Angels."  
And there's my dad. As happy as ever. I'm really starting to think that my dad let the bad things take control or something. I wonder what mom would say if I said I loved her more than father?  
"That's enough Grisha. Just leave my brother alone. He doesn't need your words."  
Dad just frowned at mom's words. Mom should pull his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is such a slow build. Holy shit, I think snails are faster. Whatever.  
> Anyone can guess who Levi's late lover was?  (¬‿¬)  
> #sneakysnoojessbeingbadatplottwistslmao


	6. Jean Kirschtein Is A Fat Sausage!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for: Erwin being a Perv, like usual, and Levi coming to the rescue! Also because of Levi's language and Eren crying.  
> Hold on to your asses because the plot is gonna start to take off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, sorry if you're not into first person view. Someone brought it up and I'm just apologizing. :)  
> Hopefully it doesn't bother you too much.  
> (Uhuhu get ready for Levi's pov)

"And can anyone tell me what two plus twenty is? Show of hands please!"  
Ms. Zoe is teaching us today! Mr. Bozado is sick, maybe he's sick of us, so Ms. Zoe is here!  
The math she's teaching us is easier than the times tables. I like her already. At least she doesn't call us brats.  
Jean was being a rude horse all day! He doesn't get any bushel of apples. He was calling me names and making Riener push me all over the place. (Thank gosh I didn't see Mr. Smith all day.)  
I got up from my desk and walked over to Jean. This is for today.  
I looked around at my classmates, and at Ms. Zoe who was looking at me strangely, and yelled my hardest.  
"Jean kirschtein is a fat sausage!!"  
... The whole class's mouthes were hanging open. I smirked in victory.  
"Eren! That's enough of that. Go back to your seat."  
When I looked at Jean again his face was red. His dad must be a tomato too. What's his problem?  
The lessons went on. Boring. I wish that I could grow into a giant and run away. Maybe climb a few beanstalks.  
"Excuse me Ms. Zoe, can I borrow Eren Jaeger? I need some things done."  
No! That voice!  
Ms. Zoe just smiled at the man who wears wigs, a little bit too happily, and nodded, agreeing to sell my soul to the huge eyebrowed satan.  
Noooo!!! It's Mr. Smith!!  
Ms. Zoe is worse than Mr. Bozado! At least he made Jean go!  
"I-I need to do my homework though Ms. Zoe..."  
I wrung my hands together, glancing around the room.  
"Jean is such a good student, he deserves to go."  
Jean stared at me once I said that, his face red again.  
"No, I need Eren."  
Ms. Zoe looked like she didn't believe him, still ordering me to go. The meanie. Doesn't she know he's creepy?! You're not a better teacher at all! You're a demon!  
I got up from my seat and walked slowly over to the mountain. I don't even dare look up at him, his eyebrows might abduct me like flying monkeys.  
"Thank you Ms. Zoe. Come on Eren."  
I felt his hand on my back, guiding me to some art room. Where was he taking me? I thought he had a class?  
"Where are we going?"  
I heard his laugh, a deep creepy laugh for a tall creepy man, and he just rubbed my back as we walked. My heart was going crazy, not like the time I kissed Uncle too, this time I felt like I needed to run! Why are the hallways empty? Should I stop walking with him?

Levi's POV

Stupid ass kid. He left his lunch at home.  
"No arguments Levi, as your big sister I order you to take this lunch to your nephew."  
Is what Carla said. Damn it all that shitty sister. She used the "big sister" card. At least Grisha wasn't there. He had to go on some trip somewhere.  
I jumped in my crappy ass truck and drove toward the school. I dug into the glove box, pulling out Petra's ring. The ring I wanted to give her. She was everything, and to this day I still don't understand why she just up and left? I was willing to take care of her and the baby... Then she just...  
Tch. Little Eren doesn't need to know what happened to us, even though he was looking up at me with those huge ass eyes of his. He looks at me as if he knows that I would hug him to death. Shit. Maybe Carla was right. I did fall victim to him.  
Hah. Maybe I should settle down, even though I'm 19, all being single gives me is loneliness.  
The school rolled into view, it's quite big actually, and I smiled. So this is where the shitty brat learns.  
The place seemed to have three floors, lots of windows plastered on each one, and is painted red and white.  
I parked into the lot and I got out, zipping up my black leather jacket. It's as cold as a fucking polar bear's dick out here, holy fuck. Why did I decide to wear this today?  
I walked up the stairs of this big ass school and went in. Hm. The outside is better. The floors are a weird pale yellowish colour, the walls are gray, and holy mother of fuck! Is that a pile of shit?  
This place needs me in it.  
I went to the front desk, the old lady squinting up at me through her old ass glasses. This woman looks like she shits dust she's so old.  
"Eren is in class 5-A."  
She point a bony finger to the left corridor. Jeez, she looks like she's going to drop dead soon. Hope she's ok.  
I went to the direction she pointed in and looked at all the doodles on the walls. Do the 5th graders think their 'horses' look great? They look like something I left in the toilet. There's a picture that Eren drew, it has some boy with two tone hair drawn on it. Is Eren being a shit?  
I continued walking until I came to class 5-A, opening the door wide. The tiny fuckers instantly sized me up, snickering under their breaths. Little bastards. I showed the teacher the lunchbox.  
"Eren forgot his lunch."  
The teacher was wearing glasses, her hair done up in a messy ponytail. Waitaminute.  
This woman seems familiar...  
"Levi!!!"  
Great. I know who it is, It's Hanji. Mike's annoying wife.  
"The cutie is helping Mr. Smith with some things!"  
I growled, the kids leaning away from me, this shitty glasses basically gave Eren away!  
"I can show you!"  
A voice yelled. I looked to the classroom, finding a two tone haired boy with his hand up, and snorted. He does look like a horse. He could land a spot in the jockey races.  
"Nah kid, I'll just find him."  
I know that I could have just left Eren's lunch there, but he's being taken away by Erwin. Fucking pervert. Maybe he's one of the reasons why Petra left me. It's not like I could have stopped it, I was 12 for fucks sake. All I know is that once I told her, of Erwin being an old pervert to me, she became strange. Tch.  
I took long strides, well as long as I could make them because being short is sort of hard, and kept an eye out for my naive nephew. That shitty brat is somewhere around here, I just have to-  
"Why are we going in the janitors closet M-Mr. Smith?"  
Eren!  
I ran towards his voice and turned a corner, the sight that greeted me made me sick. That fucking pedophile had his hand on Eren's back, smiling his biggest while trying to coax my little nephew into the janitors closet. The closet!  
I can't help it, I see red. I marched right up to the tall fucker and ripped Eren away, baring my teeth.  
"Stay the fuck away from my nephew you fucking disgrace of a teacher!"  
I snarled. Eren was shaking, I felt his tiny hands grip my own. The poor kid is scared. I handed Eren his lunchbox and he grabbed it slowly.  
Erwin looked from Eren to me, smiling brightly. It may have looked pleasant to others but I knew what he was thinking. He quirked an eyebrow at the both of us.  
"My, my. What do we have here?"  
Drumming his fingers he walked toward us. I pushed Eren behind me all the while glaring him down.  
"My late lover with my newfound one! How pleasing. If only I were sandwiched in-"  
I plugged Eren's ears fast. He doesn't need to hear this shit!  
"Don't. You. Fucking. Dare. Say that last part!" I threatened quietly.  
The fucker just chuckled darkly.  
"Oh my little Levi", don't you remember the good times?"  
He continued advancing. I tightened my hold on Eren, my stomach doing flip flops. Fuck, I still am scared of this bastard!  
He lifted up a finger, I flinched away, and he caressed my cheek. I swallowed my disgust. The damn smug bastard is lucky we are in a school for children, or else there would be a bloodbath.  
"The times in which I fucke-"  
I grasped Eren's hand. If I hear any more than that, I'm going to throw up.  
"Come on brat!"  
I tugged/half dragged my nephew through the halls, leaving the sicko behind. Eren stopped and his hand tugged for me to stop.  
"What's wrong Ere-"  
His eyes were filling up with glistening tears, and his bottom lip trembled. He looked so scared.  
"Oh Eren..."I  
I pulled him into my arms and I heard him sob. Again he cried on my shoulder, my heart breaking for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I sort of have a blur of a concept in my head. Its getting there. This story is getting significantly darker isn't it? Wow. Erwin can just fuck off.


	7. Sleepover With Jean!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title says it all. Sure I said that the plot is going to pick up, but let me have my fun.

Today was scary! I thought Mr. Eyebrows was going to steal me away... I didn't see anyone in the hallways and he was giving me this look. It reminded me of whenever a dog got a bone. Hungry, and vicious. He's a danger to me. But then my uncle came, as if he was superman or something! He took me from creepy Smith and gave him a real mean look. I would be crying if he made that face at me. Erwin started to say something about sandwiches though. Uncle plugged my ears before I could hear him though. I am hungry, but I would never want anything from that mountain.  
"Eren?"  
I ignored Jean, focusing on eating my sandwich. (My favourite! Turkey!)  
"Eren."  
I focused all of my chakra on the bread, maybe if I try hard enough it would float?  
"Eren!"  
I slapped my hand on the table and made a face at Jean.  
"What?!"  
He scratched his head and looked at the window, smiling that horsey way.  
"I just want to know if you want to sleepover..."  
My eyes popped out of my head, the world explodes. Did Uncle start skipping through flowers? Did Mr. Smith become a midget? Did Jean just ask me to have a sleepover? Somebody clean my ears for me, I don't think I heard him!  
"What?"  
He puffed his cheeks out.  
"I said if you wanted to Uh- stay over."  
His voice got all quiet. Maybe he actually wants to hang out!  
I pretended to look at my nails with interest, blowing on them and wiping them on my chest.  
"Someone like you asking me?"  
I said like a guy who lived in Britain.  
He nodded his head. He wrung his hands and looked around the room.  
He looked so sad I started to feel sorry for him.  
"I guess I'll go..."  
I said.  
It was as if I told him that he's getting a pony for Christmas. (But it would be weird to get himself for Christmas, won't it?) His face looked like the sun, his smile was wide and his eyes crinkled. I would have liked his smile if he wasn't Jean.  
"Thanks Eren..."  
It's weird having your enemy smile at you. It's actually sort of creepy.  
He got up from his chair once the bell rung, all of my classmates doing the same. I just watched as he rapidly got his coat and boots on, slung his backpack over his shoulder and ran out the door. He must be in a hurry, I don't know why. The bus isn't moving until I get there.  
I put my coat on and my boots.  
"Hey Eren?"  
I looked over to the voice. It was Sasha, a cookie in her mouth. She must have a big tummy to fit all of the food.  
"Yeah Sash'?"  
Potato girl looked over to the cubbies, avoiding my eyes.  
"Does Mr. Smith do weird things to you?"  
Mr. Smith?  
"The mountai- uh, Mr. Smith?"  
She nodded. I looked over to the jackets hung up, the cubbies looked more interesting than her at the moment, butterflies flapping around in my tummy.  
"Yeah."  
She stared at me for a second, eyes wide.  
"Ok."  
Her hands push me aside, Sasha running past and out the door. I wonder why she asked me that, she asked me nervously and stuff. I hope she doesn't tell Jean about creepy old Mr. Smith. He'll laugh or something. 

 

"Jean? Your -quote unquote- worst enemy?"  
My mom looked like she didn't believe me. I don't blame her, all I do is tell her about how dumb Jean is.  
"Hey, he asked me mom!" I said. "Jean might not be that bad..."  
She just rolled her eyes at me.  
"Whatever sweetheart. Just remember that it's a school night."  
I nodded.  
She then smiled at something behind me. Huh?  
"Hey brat. Heard you're going to Pinkie Pie's place. Do you want me to drive you?"  
Uncle!  
I turned and gave him a big grin, watching his own mouth turn up.  
"Yeah! Thanks Levi!"  
I heard mom giggle behind me.  
"That's 'uncle' to you, Eren."  
She says warmly.  
Mikasa appeared behind Levi, she was wearing a white dress.  
"Eren, can you come with me?"  
She asked me, her eyes downcast.  
"Sure Mika! I'm going to Jean's soon, but I have time."  
I left Mom and Levi behind at the kitchen and followed my little sister, she still has that scarf on her neck. Why does she like it that much? Sometimes I forget that she's adopted. When she was a baby, her parents went to sleep after a guy did something. Mika knows, sometimes she has bad dreams and comes into my room. She cries after she has bad dreams. I usually cry with her, if Jean knew that I cried he would laugh in that pony way of his.  
Jerk.  
I walked into her room, Mika leading me to her desk. I just stood by as she dug around in it, and her face twisted into a frown. She pulls out a picture of something. It's a drawing she did of-  
It's Eyebrow-Sensei!  
His hair is bright yellow and has that brown suit he usually wears.  
"Do you know him Eren?"  
Jeez, Mika talks like an adult.  
"Yeah..."  
She nibbled on her bottom lip.  
"He said something to me."  
My tummy felt that feeling of wasps again.  
"He said that you're going to be his soon. What does that mean Eren? Is he going to take you away?"  
Tears started falling down her tiny face, her lip trembling. I don't know what to say to her.  
"If he is..."  
She ducked her head down, her hair falling into her face. Her little body shook, I watched her hands curl up into a fist.  
She looked up at me through her hair, her eyes gleaming with a look I never seen on her. It reminds me of when a lion is about to strike. Scary!  
"I will make sure he never talks about you again."  
She looks so serious with that glare! Mr. Smith shouldn't make her angry anymore, he's going to pay! Her glare actually reminds me of when my Uncle did that to Mr. Smith. They must be related closer than I am to Mika.  
"Er- thanks Mika but I'm ok."  
I zoom out of there with lightning speed, right into me and Uncle's room. I switch on the light and gather my pyjamas up, stuffing my toothbrush and extra clothes into a bag.  
"Eren! It's time to go now!"  
I heard my Uncle shout. I wonder if he's smiling? He sometimes smiles around me, even though that's rare and stuff. Wait he's yelling. He's not smiling. Never mind.  
"Coming!"  
I stomp down the stairs, a tight feeling in my chest. I'm going to be riding in Uncle's truck! Sure it's an old dark red one, but it's Uncle's truck!  
I pass him, basically pulling my shoes on while running. I pull the door open and rush to the truck, I heard Levi chuckle behind me.  
"Eager, are we brat?"  
I looked back at him, his mouth turned up in a smile.  
"Mmhm!"  
Wait it's Jean.  
The horse.  
He better have popcorn and scary movies.  
"Oi, get in the truck. Do you need to shit or something?"  
I still don't know what that word means! I haven't asked mom yet, but I'm sure that she'll tell me.  
I jumped in the car, staring at my Uncle with a big grin on my face. I like my Uncle a lot.  
"What's with that face? Come on."  
He started the engine up and we started going, telling Uncle Levi where to go the entire time. It was fun.  
"Bye Uncle!"  
I waved as the truck disappeared over the corner.  
"Eren, you're here!"  
Jean neighed from behind me. Jean grabbed me by my hand, tugging me like a doll to his house. I grumbled as we got closer to the entrance. So it begins.

-X-

Next time on "Eskimo Kisses",  
Friendly Fire! Jean and Eren play a simple game, though it turns out not as simple as it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There! The story finally caught up with my wattpad published ones. This fanfiction has actually been in hiatus since last year so. Yeah. Maybe I'll continue, I have major writers block. (That damn sleepover.)


	8. Friendly Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will make this chapter short and sweet, because writers block is a thing.   
> Because of people asking I decided to finish this chapter. I need to sleep.Thanks for the motivation!!!! Commenting means the world to me TTuTT  
> Maybe I should make some art for this. Because making fanart of ur own fic is a thing right  
> *cries blood*

"Jean you piece of poo!"  
I shrieked at the horse loudly, watching as he laughed at me.   
"E-Eren! You really suck at this!"  
I pouted as Jean kicked my player off of the board.   
"Sorry!"  
He yelled in victory.  
I glared as my piece smacked me right in the face. It clattered to the floor as well as landing on my lap.   
"Pfffft! Eren, you-you should see your face right now!" Jean whinnied as loud as a horse could. He fell over and wiggled around like a dumbface.   
Mom, dad, I'm sorry. I have to kick his face in.   
"Shut up!"  
I roared, pouncing on him.   
I pulled him up and I went for the face, slapping it and making red on his cheeks. He whined like a baby and grabbed my collar. He shook me around, my head bobbing around. "Don't slap me you dumbbum!" It's hard to get a horse off of you, but what my dad told me is to push it back gently. Gently? Ok dad. I raised my hand in power and bam. Right on the chest. He started falling in slow motion, and I almost yelled 'timber'.   
The big baby's hand found mine, and we both yelled as our feet hit his dumb stuffies and we fell over. I found out that the ground is hard. Yet again.   
"Ow!" Both the horse and I yelled.  
Sea biscuit and I played a game called sorry. It's more like 'sorry for kicking you in the face'.  
"You kids quiet down up there!"  
I heard his mom roar.   
"-and get ready for bed! Get going you boys!"  
Jean gave me a look. This stinks.   
"Ok mom-!"  
He whined.   
His hand limped up like spaghetti and he looked at his feet. I watched as his bulgy eyes flicked up at me after standing there for 83 years. He's such a fish sometimes.   
"Let's go Jaeger. Bedtime."  
He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bathroom. Woah! His toilet is much dirtier than ours! Maybe Jean needs a Uncle Levi in his life too.   
"You should meet my uncle sometime horseface!"  
Jean splurted his gross toothpaste on his toothbrush.   
"Why would I do that."  
"Jean! He's amazing!"   
He just doesn't understand! Levi is super cool and stuff!  
"He has these eyes that look like they could belong to that scary snake lady that could turn people to rocks or something, and his hair is like he's from the army! It's black and stuff and really soft. I also like how tall he is! He's so super tall, and he wears this weird cloth thing around his neck sometimes as if he's scared of crumbs or something. I don't blame him, spaghetti noodles are messy! Also, he cooks and cleans for us! Almost as if he was some cool butler dude and-"  
"STOP EREN!" Jean yelled, gross minty bubbles splattering on me. Nasty horse spit yuck.   
"FINE, HE'S COOL OK? JUST STOP TALKING!"  
Haha! Now he knows how dumb he was for smacktalking my cool tall snakey uncle butler. Beat that Jeany boy.   
"It's not like you have better uncles than I do."  
I said as I brushed my teeth with a passion, just like I seen my uncle do with toilets.   
He snorted, like a piggy.   
"At least my uncles aren't butler guys. They do chopping the wood and stuff. Hah."  
"..."  
Lame.   
I spit down the sink and washed my toothbrush. I walked out of the bathroom to flop on Jeany boys bed. Why he didn't have a haystack as a bed I don't know.   
"You gotta get in your jammies dumbbutt."   
I just growled at him. Come at me bro, I can fight a bear and I think I can have no problems with a horse.  
I took off my clothes, my bag was over by his bed so I zoomed over there and digged for my buried treasure. My bag was always better than Jean's so when he stared at me blankly I knew that he was jelly.  
Ah!  
Found it.   
It's my most favourite show ever, in the whole world. Thomas the tank engine. Nemo can go away, he doesn't even have anything over this tank god dude.   
After we went into our jams I shut the light off and we went to bed. Mom says that sharing a bed means that you're cuddling so, I don't mind.   
"Are you ok that we are cuddling?"  
I say in a low deep voice that my uncle uses sometimes.   
There was a huge jump that made me bounce a little. Did he want to jump on the bed? No thanks. Someone that big could bounce me to space.   
"Cuddle? Who says we're cuddling??"  
He yelled at me, while talking low. How did he do that?! Teach me your ways horse god.   
"I did."  
He didn't say anything after that.   
"Oh..."  
He said.   
The moon that made the whole room bright made me see better. So when I saw him get up on his elbows I looked at him. What is he doing? He rolled over like a log and, like those scary movies, his face was right up against mine.   
"Woah!"  
I almost whinnied, leaning back. His horsey ways are going on me or something!  
"C-come over here Jaeger..."  
I could barely hear him, but I wormed my way into his arms.   
"What are you doing?"  
I asked, sort of creeped out by his twinkle eyes.   
He and I stared. Hey, he has a mole on his neck. When did that happen? His eyebrows are kinda thin, mine were bushy like a lumberjack dude. I had cool eyebrows. His eyes are sort of weird. My uncle has nice black ones, but Jean has light brown ones. Like hazelnuts or something.   
"Eren?"   
"Yeah...?"  
"..."  
I waited while I stared at him, his lip was being nibbled on by his teeth. He looked back up through his dumb bangs, and I think maybe his parents were tomatoes like everyone else or something. Because his face was red. Why don't people have normal parents like me?  
His eyes flashed creepily and he suddenly pushed his face to mine, I froze. This is only what my parents did. What Mika did, what uncle levi did. Not Jean.... His lips were on mine, and his were scratchy like sandpaper.   
I pulled away slowly and he did too.   
I ran away from him and hid under the blankets. Even though he and I shared the holey thing and stuff. What was that? Why did he tell me he loved me? I just pretended that I fell asleep until I heard him making chainsaw noises with his mouth. I popped out like a turtle and looked at his face. It was ugly.   
It was so ugly that I fell fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eren dont go around kissing horses thats bad ur gonna get horse germs u knw  
> (((RipEren2k16)))


	9. The Strange Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren has an ok time at school, Levi and Mikasa spend some time bonding.

Jean and I wake up, his alarm clock blaring the radio, Jean looks at me in the eyes like a creepo. I swipe my gaze to the other wall, not looking at him. My face heats up when I recall last night, when we...  
I shake my head when I touch a finger to my lips. Jean. Jean out of all people!  
I can't ever tell my parents that I kissed a horse! A thing that belongs more in a barn than a house!  
Me and him change into our school stuff and wander downstairs, after brushing our teeth of course—wouldn't want mom to get mad—and sit ourselves on the table.  
Jean's mom was in the kitchen, same with his dad. They were both cooking, eggs and hash browns!  
"How was your sleep boys?"  
His mom asks, looking over at us.  
My hands got really sweaty, like how it does when I sneak around. My ears are probably red too.  
"Good..."  
The horse grumbles, looking at the table.  
His parents didn't seem to mind, they just nodded and went back to cooking.  
After breakfast, horseteeth and I grabbed our backpacks and raced to the honking school bus. Ms. Ral smiled like usual, and the rest of the bus talked loudly. I got in and took a seat, making sure to pick one that has a person there already.  
I'm shoved face to face with Potato Girl, she cocked her head to the side, confusion on her face. I smiled lightly at her stuffed cheeks, she looked sort of like a chipmunk.  
"Hey Eren." She greeted. She was eating a bag of pretzels, her mouth filled to the brim. Ah, I wish I could have pretzels.  
"Hey Sash, can I have some?"  
She held the bag out to me, her eyes suspicious. I grabbed one and nibbled on it.  
The bus jumped and bumped, sometimes almost making up bounce off of our seats.  
Sasha and I just sat awkwardly. I don't know how to talk to her! She's potato girl, not Chatty girl...  
The school rolled in sight, and I just shut my eyes. I don't want to see that teacher today...  
"Hey Sash." I said.  
She eyeballed me, crumbs falling from her hands.  
"You said something about Mr. Smith..."  
I opened my eyes and saw her face turn white, she almost looked dead if I didn't know nothing. Her hands almost crushed the yummy looking cookie in her hand, and I saw her scrunch up a little. Almost like she wanted to sleep on the bus.  
"Yeah... I did..."  
Why didn't she look happy talking about this anyways... She was the one who asked me, she's so weird sometimes.  
"Why did you want to talk about him? What did he do?"  
The bus jumped and rumbled until we stopped. I almost fell face first into the seat ahead of me, dumb bus driver Petra sometimes. She such a dummy.  
Sasha didn't tell me anything, she just looked ahead. Did my breath smell gross?! I checked it and wow, never doing that again. She still didn't look at me, didn't even try to tell me to get up since we stopped at the school now.  
"Man.."  
I mumbled, pushing out of my seat.  
I ignored her too! I didn't even look behind me to see what she was doing anymore. Hah! Feel bad Sasha! My shoes were cool, flashing whenever I stomped. Sasha didn't have light up shoes. Haha, Ms. IgnoreEren.

  
When I got to the door and went past dumb Petra, I almost bolted fast as lightning to the back of the bus. I'm sorry Sasha! Let me back there where you are all safe from mortal danger and stuff! Erwin was waiting just in front of me, his eyes crinkled in a kind looking way. I almost pushed aside Jean, the stink was in front of me, and ran quicker than sonic to the school.  
"Good Morning Eren."  
His deep voice almost rumbled.  
My palms grew sweaty, I didn't want to look up at Mt. Everest. I don't want to even climb up that mountain. Instead I didn't even look up at him. Why is he here? I don't know, I want to run away.  
"Hi..."  
I croaked sounding like an old guy. Like Erwin.  
"Let me guide you to your class, Eren." He said, like he was some sly fox. Like the story 'The Gingerbread Man'.  
My head hung, lolling lazily. I almost kicked him when I felt his huge hand at the back of my neck. He was holding me like I was going to run away, Which I almost did.  
I bit back hot tears as I started shaking, like the washing machine.  
"Eren! You monkey butt!"  
I looked up to see Jean pointing at me, but he didn't say anything more. He just made a face like he was about to rip one. His face always looked like that though. Horses farted all the time when I hung around one, so seeing this didn't make me laugh or anything! I swear!  
"Whatever!!!"  
He yelled, turning around, giving me a middle finger.  
"Hey!!"  
I yelled too.  
Jean galloped away and I chased him. I forgot all about Winged Eyebrows behind me.

The bell rung just as I strolled into my class, everyone putting their duo tangs in their desks.  
When I looked up I was happy to see that the devil helper wasn't there! It was that copycat teacher of ours!!  
So he came back after he found out that he wasn't sick of us, I think. His face was twisted up, like he drank bad milk, so I dunno.  
"Ok! I am back and ready to take you all on again." Mr. Bozado says. He whips around to look at the board, and we all giggled when he saw the scratches we did on it.  
Mr. Bozado is a poo head.  
It's funny how he reacted to it, his face puffed up and he had a high voice  
"Who did this!"  
It was almost like hearing a cat yell really, just a big NYAAAAA.  
I don't think he really liked our scratches on the board.

It's finally lunchtime! After Mr. Bozado gave us a talk on 'Respecting school property" he taught us how to multiply by fives. I was the best of course. Jean sucked as usual, I made sure I laughed the loudest when he got the answer wrong. He's such a nose picker.  
I grab my bag and eat my lunch, today Levi made the lunch! Or Uncle. Mom says I should respect my elders, but I don't think Uncle Levi wants to know that he's old.  
It's soup! It's in a metal bottle thing, so I open it and find the secret treasure.... Chicken noodle!!!  
Jean would be jealous. He loves chicken noodle soup. Too bad all his mom makes him is toast with butter, blah to Jean.  
Wait, I need the bathroom first! The room is empty so leaving my bag here is fine! I speed like a race car all the way to the bathrooms.

  
"Mikasa!!!!"  
No answer.  
Damnit.  
I really hate little kids when they get like this.  
Walking all around the house does me no good, the little shit is really good at hiding.  
"Mikasa!!!!"  
I check under the bed in her room. She didn't have to go to class today. She is only in the 2nd grade, so it was completely fine for her to miss a day. The reason for her not able to go to school? She has a cold, which wasn't that bad, but before Karla left for work she ordered me to take care of her.  
Easier said than done. Mikasa is rowdy as all hell, trashing up the house, coughing all over the place, and crashing into things when I tried to catch her.  
Socks didn't help me on this hard wood floor. Too much sliding around.  
I needed to find some other way to get her to start calming down.  
"I'm putting a movie on!"  
No answer.  
"It's Bambi!"  
Aha, there are the tiny stomps.  
"Don't watch it without me."  
She says plopping down on the couch.  
Sometimes kids can be cute, this is no exception.  
I slid the DVD into the player and went to sit next to her on the squishy couch. The tell tale Disney theme rings up and Mikasa leans forward. I can basically see the sparkles in her eyes, she must really love this show.

  
Yeah! I took a big poo! That was nice, and I feel so light now! Hahaa! I stuck my hands into the sink and washed them, singing the ABC song in my head. The mirror showed my brilliant smile, and the greatest boy on earth! I wonder why most people in my class don't realize how much cooler I am than Jean.  
I walk to the classroom, looking at the pictures on the walls. Haha, I remember drawing that "portrait" of Jean. He got really mad that I called him a horse, but I can't help that I drew what I saw.  
The class was still empty when I got in there, everyone was probably in the Lunchroom. I spotted my bag over by the desk! Yes! Nobody stole it! Running like the wind I got there in a flash. I gathered it up and started striding towards the exit, when I heard something fall from behind me. Oh. A paper fell from my bag. I reached for it, but the nagging feeling that it was homework punched me in the mind.  
It was folded like mail that my parents get sometimes. I knew by the blue lines that it was writing paper. When I opened it I was surprised to see crayon scribbled on the pages.

 _"DEAR EREN,_  
_HI! I HAVE BEEN WATCHING YOU FOR QUITE A WHILE, AND I REALLY LIKE WHO I SEE. <3 SOMETIMES WHEN I COME IN THE CLASSROOM I SNEAK A PEEK AT YOUR CUTE BUTT. I HAVE A REALLY BIG CRUSH ON YOU! PLEASE DONT SHOW ANYONE THIS PLEASE? THIS WOULD MAKE ME VERY HAPPY! <3 _  
_YOURS, SECRET ADMIRER_ "

Some of these words I didn't get, but I saw Happy and Crush, and also Don't Show. Who is this?? Is it a girl from my school?  
My face heated up like I just told a lie, and I looked around to see if anyone was looking. It was just me in the room!  
When I clutched this piece of paper I felt like someone was watching me. Sort of like how I would think a cat looks at a mouse, almost like they were about to attack me. This kinda freaked me out, so I stuff the paper back into my bag and sprint out of the doors, not noticing the one single person in the hallway.

  
Mikasa drooled on my new t-shirt. Couldn't she have picked a better shirt to mess up? Ahh well. The movie was over and halfway through she propped her head on my shoulder. Her tiny hands hugging my arms as she slumbered off to sleep. I brushed a stray hair away from her face and smiled. She's almost like my little sister. My smile faded slowly. She's almost like Isabel... A painful tug at my heart made me flinch.  
I took a deep breath and ruffled the little runts head. It should be about time for Eren to come home.  
Should I pick him up? I looked at Mikasa and decided against it. I would have to wake her up.  
Maybe I should at least wait for him at the bus stop? Yep. I resolved to do exactly that and got up slowly from the couch, careful not to wake the little one up.  
I wonder what Eren is going to say when he gets home. Hopefully I don't hear anything else from Eren about that fucking mountain of a man. If he ever laid hands on my nephew, I would snap his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven't been updating! I'm so sorry! I have the whole story planned out but it's just the writing down that I'm having trouble with lol.


End file.
